My short intro

[Piru Luv [ADT]]

Infultrate with artillery, Im storming your complex
Conduct myself properly, so fuck your comments
Cocken back hammers at the niggas with cameras
Increase my stamina im off HP13 ready to fuck-up-yours
Its a lesson that ive been striven to let be learned
Inadicuete demonstrations got me feeling a bit burned
I suck it up though.............lifes a twisted little story
Load up the glocks, Im physicaly and mentaly strapped for glory
I hit hard, maken souls detach from the body
It just drops and I'll smob off drunk as fuck on bacardi
Keep my mind prepared to smash on suckaz at an instance
If God gives forgiveness then why does judgement end with sentance

Comments and suggestions?

 

[KODOGG]

Nice shit overall.. Ya Got a good vocab jus some lines dont make sense.. as if they were there to take up space.. Other then that tight intro man.. 'n welcome to da Flowz Board!

 

[Piru Luv [ADT]]

Thanks KODOGG, wich lines would you suggest i remove and replace?

 

[KODOGG]

Maybe not delete them jus explain em I guess:

"Cocken back hammers at the niggas with cameras"

"then why does judgement end with sentance"




I dont get those two.. Explain em and this rhyme might be damn near perfect ta' go on da mic.

 

[Piru Luv [ADT]]

"Cocken back hammers at the niggas with cameras"

/\/\/\Is basicly staten that im shooting at paparazzi. What i mean by paparazzi (wich realy is the media) is on lookers, those without business and don't belong.


If God gives forgiveness then why does judgement end with sentance

/\/\/\Means that God forgives us for our sins but socitey (By judgement i mean court) attempts to punish us rather then forgive. Im trying to express that us as humans thinking that we need to make our own rules as if the ones God made weren't good enough or something. Does that explain it clearly or just confuse you more?

 

[KODOGG]

Ahh... O then that spits pretty damn clean now that I understand it.. Tight shit bro.

 

[MrDontGIVEaFUCK]

its coo some nices lines... it was up and down... but yo welcome here pimp

 

[Piru Luv [ADT]]

Thanks again Kodogg, and thanks for the weclomeing Mr.D.G.A.F.

 

[FATAL NYGHTMARE]

Increase my stamina im off HP13 ready to fuck-up-yours

am i missing sumthing or did that just not rhyme with anything?

 

[tank locc]

better then most the new cats that come on, i liked it

 

[SlangsumLangsam]

yea i noticed that FATAL, but other than that line tha whole shit was ill as fucc

nice spyt homie

peaaaace

 

[Piru Luv [ADT]]

I tried to make "fuck-up-yours" and "cameras" rhyme. It doesn't work unless you say them with slang, even then its shakey at best.