Jose Canseco and Lenny Dykstra To Box On Pay-Per-View

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Jan 18, 2008
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Reality television, late-night commercials and celebrity boxing are where washed up former athletes go to fade away. Sometimes, though, the impending results threaten to shake American popular culture to its core.

Enter Jose Canseco. And Lenny Dykstra. In the ring. Boxing. Each other.

Canseco, the former A’s slugger, has long been on a roller coaster ride of absurd public embarrassments and legal woes, but he’s got noting on Lenny.

Dykstra, who was once one of baseball’s most prolific users of dip was — among a laundry list of misdeeds — named in the Mitchell report, indicted for fraud and charged earlier this year with grand theft auto, drug possession and indecent exposure.

The two former MLBers weren’t even supposed to fight; Canseco was on the card to face White House crasher Tareq Salahi. But thankfully, destiny stepped in and what was to be a sad display of a lopsided bludgeoning is now just a sad display of revenge:

“Canseco ruined my career by spreading lies. I called Tareq and begged him to let me take his place in the upcoming fight against Canseco,” said Dykstra in a statement.

In short, this is the perfect storm of celebrity self-destruction. And it’s coming to pay-per-view on Saturday.

While I’ll admit to having a Bash Brothers poster prominently displayed on my bedroom wall from 1988-1991, I’ve come to my senses since middle school and I don’t think I’ll pay $19.99 to Jose kick Lenny Dykstra’s tobacco-stained teeth in.

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Douche bag fight of the Century!
The Roid Rumble
 
Jan 18, 2008
7,756
2,745
0
43
Rip City
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It turns out that you and I weren't the only ones who forgot about the Lenny Dykstra-Jose Canseco fight on Saturday night after gaping at the car wreck of a headline earlier this week.

Also suffering a memory lapse? Ol' Nails himself as Dykstra failed to show up for his whuppin' at the pay-per view event.

So was Dykstra too busy watching the field goal kicking contest down South as many of you were? Or was he finally getting around to seeing "Moneyball," like I finally did? (Thought it was excellent, by the way.)

Nope. As Dan Gross of the Philadelphia Inquirer reports, the answer naturally rivals the mess that Dykstra and Canseco have made of their lives. Fight promoter Damon Feldman says Dykstra was paid $5,000 with a promise of another $10,000 after the fight while those close to Dykstra said there was never any deal actually in place.

From the Philadelphia Inquirer:

I reached Dykstra tonight on his cell phone and after identifying myself, he said he would call back promptly. He has not. Dykstra, who is staying in a Los Angeles rehab facility, has also not replied to several text messages.

Fox 29 meterologist John Bolaris, a friend of Dykstra's for more than 15 years, tweeted days ago that Dykstra was never actually scheduled to fight.

None of this, of course, should come as a surprise considering the parties involved. Dykstra has made a living of bilking others in his post-baseball career while Feldman and Canseco couldn't even let an entire year pass without another boxing bait and switch.

So if you paid $19.95 believing you were going to see the two old stars beat up on each other in something straight out of "The Wrestler"? Well, you should have seen this coming.