I had a big date last night, and it turned out to be fairly uneventful. She looked hot and all, but it was a bit of a struggle trying to get through the "first-date-question-and-answer-session." We chilled at a cool bar on the water for about an hour, and then called it a night.
I didn't quite "call it a night" though. After I left my date, I dialed up DJ Mark 7 and met up with him. I already had about 8 Mike's Hard Lemonade in me, but I quickly proceeded to down three shots of yak, so I could get myself where I needed to be. The joint was jumpin' and there were beautiful hootches everywhere. Thanks to 7, I was a big hit with the chicks after throwing his line on them;
Me: "Hey, can I tickle your belly button?"
Cumdumpster: "OK" (then they would expose it awaiting the tickle)
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry. I meant I wanted to tickle it from the inside." (and I would kind of look at them like this :devious: , then like this
)
Anyhoo, I thought I had this slightly plump, but cool and pretty with big tits, Latina lined up, but I lost her. I ended up going to 7's double-wide because he had a whole posse of bitches that were supposed to be there.
I got to his place and, sure enough, it was on. There were 6 girls there, and 4 of them were pretty smokin'. I proceeded to touch each of them inappropriately, and made out with three of them. After 5 or 6 more beers, and a few shots of tequila, I passed out.
This morning, I awoke with a headache, and wasn't quite sure where I was. There was one girl semi-spooning with me, and two chicks on the other side of the room spooning with eachother. Needless to say, that was all I needed to see. I immediately headed for the bathroom so I could jack my dick before I had to bike back home.
As I got in the bathroom, I realized that I had to shit. I sat on the toilet and started to ease out a log or two. While I was sitting there, I realized that there was a girl's thong balled-up on the bathroom floor in front of me. "Fuckin' A," I said to myself. "This is perfect." My plan was to finish shitting, and then masturbate as I took a good, long whiff of the thong and pictured the two chicks spooning.
I finished shitting and wiped my ass three or four times. I remained on the toilet and reached down and picked up the black and white, Killa Valley Ent. silk-screened thong. I unballed it, exposed the pussy-protecting portion of it, and gently stroked my cock while totally ignoring the stench of my own shit. As my little crank got semi-hard, I slammed the pussy portion of the thong against my nostrils, and inhailed as deeply as I could. I was kind of like Dennis Hopper in 'Blue Velvet'........................
As soon as I breathed in, I smelled the most fucking rotten pussy smell that I've ever experienced in my life. It smelled like a mixture of rotten eggs, an entire boat full of dead fish, baby shit and smelling salts. I almost broke my neck as I backed away from it, and when I did, I then smelled my own shit again. The combination of the wretched pussy, my own shit, and the fact that I was hung over and could taste tequila, brought on a projectile vomit like no other. I didn't want to spray it all over the bathroom, so the only thing that came to mind was to try to catch it with the stinky thong.
So, there I sit on the toilet hungover, with a hard cock, the smell of shit in the air, and a handful of puke and a stanky-pussy-soaked thong that is now also covered in vomit. I tried to regain my composure, stood up, threw the thong in the tub, washed my hands in the sink, and got the fuck out of there.
Today kinda started off on the wrong foot, but I think I'll jerk my cock, take a nap, and wake up with a fresh attitude. I'll catch you cats in the GOTM forum tonight.
D-Money
I didn't quite "call it a night" though. After I left my date, I dialed up DJ Mark 7 and met up with him. I already had about 8 Mike's Hard Lemonade in me, but I quickly proceeded to down three shots of yak, so I could get myself where I needed to be. The joint was jumpin' and there were beautiful hootches everywhere. Thanks to 7, I was a big hit with the chicks after throwing his line on them;
Me: "Hey, can I tickle your belly button?"
Cumdumpster: "OK" (then they would expose it awaiting the tickle)
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry. I meant I wanted to tickle it from the inside." (and I would kind of look at them like this :devious: , then like this
) Anyhoo, I thought I had this slightly plump, but cool and pretty with big tits, Latina lined up, but I lost her. I ended up going to 7's double-wide because he had a whole posse of bitches that were supposed to be there.
I got to his place and, sure enough, it was on. There were 6 girls there, and 4 of them were pretty smokin'. I proceeded to touch each of them inappropriately, and made out with three of them. After 5 or 6 more beers, and a few shots of tequila, I passed out.
This morning, I awoke with a headache, and wasn't quite sure where I was. There was one girl semi-spooning with me, and two chicks on the other side of the room spooning with eachother. Needless to say, that was all I needed to see. I immediately headed for the bathroom so I could jack my dick before I had to bike back home.
As I got in the bathroom, I realized that I had to shit. I sat on the toilet and started to ease out a log or two. While I was sitting there, I realized that there was a girl's thong balled-up on the bathroom floor in front of me. "Fuckin' A," I said to myself. "This is perfect." My plan was to finish shitting, and then masturbate as I took a good, long whiff of the thong and pictured the two chicks spooning.
I finished shitting and wiped my ass three or four times. I remained on the toilet and reached down and picked up the black and white, Killa Valley Ent. silk-screened thong. I unballed it, exposed the pussy-protecting portion of it, and gently stroked my cock while totally ignoring the stench of my own shit. As my little crank got semi-hard, I slammed the pussy portion of the thong against my nostrils, and inhailed as deeply as I could. I was kind of like Dennis Hopper in 'Blue Velvet'........................
As soon as I breathed in, I smelled the most fucking rotten pussy smell that I've ever experienced in my life. It smelled like a mixture of rotten eggs, an entire boat full of dead fish, baby shit and smelling salts. I almost broke my neck as I backed away from it, and when I did, I then smelled my own shit again. The combination of the wretched pussy, my own shit, and the fact that I was hung over and could taste tequila, brought on a projectile vomit like no other. I didn't want to spray it all over the bathroom, so the only thing that came to mind was to try to catch it with the stinky thong.
So, there I sit on the toilet hungover, with a hard cock, the smell of shit in the air, and a handful of puke and a stanky-pussy-soaked thong that is now also covered in vomit. I tried to regain my composure, stood up, threw the thong in the tub, washed my hands in the sink, and got the fuck out of there.
Today kinda started off on the wrong foot, but I think I'll jerk my cock, take a nap, and wake up with a fresh attitude. I'll catch you cats in the GOTM forum tonight.
D-Money
