delete if this has been posted
i found this funny as HELL!!
Change of Heart
*Somewhat unnerved by the beef brewing between him and Jigga, Game shows
up at Def Jam's offices to straighten things out. Jay-Z, currently Def
Jam's President, is welcome to hear what the Compton rapper has on his
mind. *
Jay's Secretary: Sir, your 1:15 is here to see you.
Jay: Aight Bleek, send 'em in.
Game: Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is Game! *chuckles*
Jay: ....
Game: Remember that shit?
Jay: .... come on in. *Jay invites Game into his office*
*Game steps in and his entourage tries to follow*
Jay: I'm gonna have to ask y'all to wait downstairs. No disrespect.
Game: Oh, no doubt, like Gwen Stefani.
Jay: .....
*Jay lets Game into his office and shuts the door*
Jay: Have a seat...
Game: *while walking towards Jay's desk, notices a 5 foot tall, 30 gallon
container of water sitting in the middle of Jay's office* What's that
there for?
Jay: That's not important right now... so, you have urgent business to
discuss with me?
Game: Yeah man, I wanted to get at you dawg, like DMX.... you know...
Jay: Uh huh
Game: I just wanna clear up this so-called beefin shit... like Ice Cube
and Common.
Jay: I'm listenin.
Game: Please don't let me be misunderstood, like Nina Simone.
Jay: Why are you makin that face?
Game: What face?
Jay: That face you always make.
Game: Whatchu mean homie, that's just how I loo- *catches on and starts
laughing* oh, I get it. You got jokes like Martin Lawrence. Tha's funny
man. *points at Jay*
Jay: *points back*
Game: Aight, so about this lil beef or whatever. I was in the club, like
50 Cent, then I heard through the grapevine like Marvin Gaye, that you
wanted some problems like Lil Scrappy.
Jay: Okay, well first off--
Game: NWA.
Jay: Huh?
Game: Express yourself.
Jay: .......okay, well first off I don't appreciate some of the comments
you been throwin at my lil homie, Bleek.
Game: You got this nigga answerin yo' phone. He's Mr. Telephone Man, like
New Edition.
Jay: But my homie is like my brother, and that's family. So it's like you
disrespectin my family. You dig what I'm sayin?
Game: YEAH! like Usher and Lil Jon, baby.
Jay: *puts his hand on his forehead*
Game: But I'm sayin though... all those comments I made was like a year
ago. Why did you wait until I had a number 1 album to respond?
Jay: ....I was busy.
Game: I got people in my ear saying so and so is jealous, and Jigga miss
being number 1... like KRS.
Jay: Look here homie, any nigga can get a hit record. This here is about
respect.
Game: Like Gladys Knight.
Jay: Aretha Franklin.
Game: Word, I like her too.
Jay: Nigga...
Game: I got nothin but respect for you man. You're a legend.. like Dr.
Dre, NWA, Rakim, Kane, NWA, Ice T, Scarface, NWA...
Jay: Thank you man, I appreciate that. But I think you need to understand
your place and--
Game: My PLACE? Nigga you don't own me. I'm like Prince shavin "slave" on
his cheek.
Jay: Nigga calm down.
Game: Nigga, I been crippin all my fuckin life. I swear to God I--
Jay: Crip? I thought you was blood.
Game: .................................I am.
Jay: Nigga how you been crippin all your life and you a blood?
Game: I'm BOTH, nigga.
Jay: Nigga you can't be a crip and a blood.
Game: I'm from Compton nigga, you can't tell me what the fuck I can and
can't be. I been a crud my whole life.
Jay: Crud?
Game: A crippin blood, nigga.
Jay: Did you just.... make up a gang?
Game: *throws up complicated gang sign that includes the robot and cabbage
patch*
Jay: Listen crud, mud, whatever...
*Bleek walks in Jay's office to check on the situation, hears the
argumentative tone, and starts barking insults.*
Game: Sup nigga. How's Get Low Records doin?
Bleek: Yo Jay, you want me to fuckin handle this bitch ass nigga?
* Jay nonchalantly tilts his head, signifying Bleek should handle his
business if he wants to. *
Bleek: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
* Bleek rushes toward Game, who's still seated. Game, 6'5," calmly stands
up and extends his hand. Towering over Bleek, Game grabs his head and
prevents him from landing a single punch. Bleek swings his left and right
fists, desperately, unable to reach Game. *
Game: Yo man, this shit here isn't even necessary. Not like the BDP album
By All Means Necessary.
Bleek: UGH... Stop name-dropping faggot.
Game: Can I kick it like Tribe Called Quest?
Bleek: The fuck
*Game launches a front kick to Bleek's face, knocking him back 5 yards
through the door he came through*
Jay: I see you have some skill. *Jay stands up and takes off his blazer*
Game: *turns around to face Jay* Oh you want some of this? I'm ready like
Tevin Campbell nigga.
Jay: But you have a long way to go. *Jay's clutches his fists, and pulls
his arm back in a Tae Bo stance. His hands begin to glow red.* I'm that
nigga.
Game: *looks at his hands and notices they're not glowing* Aw shit
*Jay walks over to Game, slowly, still in a fight stance.*
Game: I'm in trouble like 2Pac when he recorded in Brooklyn.
(( Jay-Z begins to smack red sparks out of Game. The Aftermath artist puts
up his best effort, but it's futile. While landing few punches, Game soon
realizes that even on his successful attempts, he burns his knuckles on
Jay's shield. A flurry of back-hands and palm strikes send Game into an
unfamiliar daze. Jay grabs him by the back of the neck and drags him over
to the 30 gallon container of water.))
Jay: Who's that nigga?
Game: *Disoriented* What?
*Jay dips Game head-first into the tub of water for 30 seconds, while he
kicks and struggles for his life*
Jay: *pulls Game up* Who's that nigga?
Game: *gasps for breath* Man what the fuck kinda--
*Jay dips Game's face back into the water, holding his head down longer,
before pulling him out*
Game: *gasps for breath again*
Jay: Who's that nigga?
Game: YOU!
Jay: Who?
Game: Hova!
Jay: Louder.
Game: HOVA!
*Jay grabs Game by the neck and left arm, and tosses him across the room
into a bookshelf. The books collapse on Game and he cowers into the corner.
Game: C'mon man, I'm allergic to them shits. Stop playin.
*Jay calmly walks over to Game, now in the fetal position in the corner of
the office.*
Game: Please no more, Hova. I learnt my lesson.
Jay: I know...but you have one more lesson to learn.
Game: Wait... before you kill me, you gotta tell me. How'd you get your
hands to glow and shit like that?
Jay: I told you.. I'm that nigga. How you think a nigga with this face
could pull Beyonce?
Game: ...I just thought it was cause you rich.
Jay: *chuckles* She make more than me nigga... guess again. *Jay points to
his crotch*
Game: *looks down, sees a glowing red light emanating from Jay's pants,
and covers his face* C'mon man, I didn't need to see that like Stevie
Wonder.
Jay: Goodbye my nigga.
Game: Nooooooooooo! No No No, like Destiny's-- *Jay covers Game's face,
and he lets out a horrible, deafening shrill heard throughout the entire
Def Jam building.*
* 90 seconds later *
(( Game's brother, Big Fase 100, and his entourage run into Jay's office,
frantic and ready for confrontation. ))
Big Fase: What the fuck goin on in here?
*Jay-Z helps Game up off the ground and fixes his shirt*
Jay: Nothin... just a lil miscommunication, right Game?
Game: *puzzled, looks at Jay, then at his brother* Man... I just came to a
realization.
Big Fase: Wha?
Game: There's so much more to life than this rap thing, this beefin...it's
senseless. God put us here for a greater purpose. To serve him.
Big Fase: Nigga what the fuck is you talkin bout?
Game: I... I'm quitting rap and persuing a life as a minister.
Big Fase: You ain't soundin like no crud! *turns to Jay* Nigga what the
fuck did you do to my brother!??!
Jay: Nothin. I think the brother just had a change of heart.
*Game, still disoriented, stumbles out of Jay's office, reciting Biblical
passages while his crew screams death threats to the Def Jam office.*
*Bleek regains consciousness in the lobby, and stands as Game's entourage
passes him. Game kicks him in the face again, knocking him back out.*
Game: That was from God.
i found this funny as HELL!!
Change of Heart
*Somewhat unnerved by the beef brewing between him and Jigga, Game shows
up at Def Jam's offices to straighten things out. Jay-Z, currently Def
Jam's President, is welcome to hear what the Compton rapper has on his
mind. *
Jay's Secretary: Sir, your 1:15 is here to see you.
Jay: Aight Bleek, send 'em in.
Game: Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is Game! *chuckles*
Jay: ....
Game: Remember that shit?
Jay: .... come on in. *Jay invites Game into his office*
*Game steps in and his entourage tries to follow*
Jay: I'm gonna have to ask y'all to wait downstairs. No disrespect.
Game: Oh, no doubt, like Gwen Stefani.
Jay: .....
*Jay lets Game into his office and shuts the door*
Jay: Have a seat...
Game: *while walking towards Jay's desk, notices a 5 foot tall, 30 gallon
container of water sitting in the middle of Jay's office* What's that
there for?
Jay: That's not important right now... so, you have urgent business to
discuss with me?
Game: Yeah man, I wanted to get at you dawg, like DMX.... you know...
Jay: Uh huh
Game: I just wanna clear up this so-called beefin shit... like Ice Cube
and Common.
Jay: I'm listenin.
Game: Please don't let me be misunderstood, like Nina Simone.
Jay: Why are you makin that face?
Game: What face?
Jay: That face you always make.
Game: Whatchu mean homie, that's just how I loo- *catches on and starts
laughing* oh, I get it. You got jokes like Martin Lawrence. Tha's funny
man. *points at Jay*
Jay: *points back*
Game: Aight, so about this lil beef or whatever. I was in the club, like
50 Cent, then I heard through the grapevine like Marvin Gaye, that you
wanted some problems like Lil Scrappy.
Jay: Okay, well first off--
Game: NWA.
Jay: Huh?
Game: Express yourself.
Jay: .......okay, well first off I don't appreciate some of the comments
you been throwin at my lil homie, Bleek.
Game: You got this nigga answerin yo' phone. He's Mr. Telephone Man, like
New Edition.
Jay: But my homie is like my brother, and that's family. So it's like you
disrespectin my family. You dig what I'm sayin?
Game: YEAH! like Usher and Lil Jon, baby.
Jay: *puts his hand on his forehead*
Game: But I'm sayin though... all those comments I made was like a year
ago. Why did you wait until I had a number 1 album to respond?
Jay: ....I was busy.
Game: I got people in my ear saying so and so is jealous, and Jigga miss
being number 1... like KRS.
Jay: Look here homie, any nigga can get a hit record. This here is about
respect.
Game: Like Gladys Knight.
Jay: Aretha Franklin.
Game: Word, I like her too.
Jay: Nigga...
Game: I got nothin but respect for you man. You're a legend.. like Dr.
Dre, NWA, Rakim, Kane, NWA, Ice T, Scarface, NWA...
Jay: Thank you man, I appreciate that. But I think you need to understand
your place and--
Game: My PLACE? Nigga you don't own me. I'm like Prince shavin "slave" on
his cheek.
Jay: Nigga calm down.
Game: Nigga, I been crippin all my fuckin life. I swear to God I--
Jay: Crip? I thought you was blood.
Game: .................................I am.
Jay: Nigga how you been crippin all your life and you a blood?
Game: I'm BOTH, nigga.
Jay: Nigga you can't be a crip and a blood.
Game: I'm from Compton nigga, you can't tell me what the fuck I can and
can't be. I been a crud my whole life.
Jay: Crud?
Game: A crippin blood, nigga.
Jay: Did you just.... make up a gang?
Game: *throws up complicated gang sign that includes the robot and cabbage
patch*
Jay: Listen crud, mud, whatever...
*Bleek walks in Jay's office to check on the situation, hears the
argumentative tone, and starts barking insults.*
Game: Sup nigga. How's Get Low Records doin?
Bleek: Yo Jay, you want me to fuckin handle this bitch ass nigga?
* Jay nonchalantly tilts his head, signifying Bleek should handle his
business if he wants to. *
Bleek: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
* Bleek rushes toward Game, who's still seated. Game, 6'5," calmly stands
up and extends his hand. Towering over Bleek, Game grabs his head and
prevents him from landing a single punch. Bleek swings his left and right
fists, desperately, unable to reach Game. *
Game: Yo man, this shit here isn't even necessary. Not like the BDP album
By All Means Necessary.
Bleek: UGH... Stop name-dropping faggot.
Game: Can I kick it like Tribe Called Quest?
Bleek: The fuck
*Game launches a front kick to Bleek's face, knocking him back 5 yards
through the door he came through*
Jay: I see you have some skill. *Jay stands up and takes off his blazer*
Game: *turns around to face Jay* Oh you want some of this? I'm ready like
Tevin Campbell nigga.
Jay: But you have a long way to go. *Jay's clutches his fists, and pulls
his arm back in a Tae Bo stance. His hands begin to glow red.* I'm that
nigga.
Game: *looks at his hands and notices they're not glowing* Aw shit
*Jay walks over to Game, slowly, still in a fight stance.*
Game: I'm in trouble like 2Pac when he recorded in Brooklyn.
(( Jay-Z begins to smack red sparks out of Game. The Aftermath artist puts
up his best effort, but it's futile. While landing few punches, Game soon
realizes that even on his successful attempts, he burns his knuckles on
Jay's shield. A flurry of back-hands and palm strikes send Game into an
unfamiliar daze. Jay grabs him by the back of the neck and drags him over
to the 30 gallon container of water.))
Jay: Who's that nigga?
Game: *Disoriented* What?
*Jay dips Game head-first into the tub of water for 30 seconds, while he
kicks and struggles for his life*
Jay: *pulls Game up* Who's that nigga?
Game: *gasps for breath* Man what the fuck kinda--
*Jay dips Game's face back into the water, holding his head down longer,
before pulling him out*
Game: *gasps for breath again*
Jay: Who's that nigga?
Game: YOU!
Jay: Who?
Game: Hova!
Jay: Louder.
Game: HOVA!
*Jay grabs Game by the neck and left arm, and tosses him across the room
into a bookshelf. The books collapse on Game and he cowers into the corner.
Game: C'mon man, I'm allergic to them shits. Stop playin.
*Jay calmly walks over to Game, now in the fetal position in the corner of
the office.*
Game: Please no more, Hova. I learnt my lesson.
Jay: I know...but you have one more lesson to learn.
Game: Wait... before you kill me, you gotta tell me. How'd you get your
hands to glow and shit like that?
Jay: I told you.. I'm that nigga. How you think a nigga with this face
could pull Beyonce?
Game: ...I just thought it was cause you rich.
Jay: *chuckles* She make more than me nigga... guess again. *Jay points to
his crotch*
Game: *looks down, sees a glowing red light emanating from Jay's pants,
and covers his face* C'mon man, I didn't need to see that like Stevie
Wonder.
Jay: Goodbye my nigga.
Game: Nooooooooooo! No No No, like Destiny's-- *Jay covers Game's face,
and he lets out a horrible, deafening shrill heard throughout the entire
Def Jam building.*
* 90 seconds later *
(( Game's brother, Big Fase 100, and his entourage run into Jay's office,
frantic and ready for confrontation. ))
Big Fase: What the fuck goin on in here?
*Jay-Z helps Game up off the ground and fixes his shirt*
Jay: Nothin... just a lil miscommunication, right Game?
Game: *puzzled, looks at Jay, then at his brother* Man... I just came to a
realization.
Big Fase: Wha?
Game: There's so much more to life than this rap thing, this beefin...it's
senseless. God put us here for a greater purpose. To serve him.
Big Fase: Nigga what the fuck is you talkin bout?
Game: I... I'm quitting rap and persuing a life as a minister.
Big Fase: You ain't soundin like no crud! *turns to Jay* Nigga what the
fuck did you do to my brother!??!
Jay: Nothin. I think the brother just had a change of heart.
*Game, still disoriented, stumbles out of Jay's office, reciting Biblical
passages while his crew screams death threats to the Def Jam office.*
*Bleek regains consciousness in the lobby, and stands as Game's entourage
passes him. Game kicks him in the face again, knocking him back out.*
Game: That was from God.
