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May 13, 2002
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www.socialistworld.net
#5
The straw is a great invention. You can drink without using your wrists. The straw is your friend until you lose eye contact with the straw. Then he will betray you and make you look like an idiot. I have to pull the straw aside and be like “What the hell do you think you’re doing? The last time I checked, you were right by my mouth. What are you doing on the other side of the glass? I don’t need you; you’re a luxury. The ice is even worse. When there’s liquid in there yeah it’s fine; it’s like a pool party. “Hey we’re keeping everything cool.” I’m talking about when I get to the bottom and it’s just me and the ice. I’m like, ok just one of you. Come on I just want something to chew on; come on. And the ice is like, “Hold…hold…everybody now!”