"MOSS IS A BOSS!"
If you're looking to commit a social faux pas with minimal backlash, come to the Bay Area
- Peter Hartlaub
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Since the controversy surfaced almost a week ago, talk of the Randy Moss marijuana saga has passed through more lips than a spliff at a Cypress Hill concert -- generating nationwide outrage on ESPN and talk radio programs that continues today.
But in the liberal Bay Area, where there are more pot clubs than Krispy Kreme franchises, the Oakland Raider's casual weed smoking admission on HBO's "Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel" merited about 12 seconds of discussion. It was a local story, but still only worth a one-day news cycle, even as the rest of the nation couldn't stop seething.
If you're planning to commit a petty crime, drug-related spectacle or even a social faux pas, is there any better place to live than the Bay Area? Sure, we like a good witch hunt, but assuming you don't own a pit bull, join the Republican Party or dunk someone else's severed finger in a bowl of fast food chili, you can pretty much do or say whatever you want with minimum reprisal from your neighbors.
Take the example of former Village People lead singer Victor Edward Willis, who was arrested on drug and gun charges last month in Daly City. While most people east of Mount Diablo reacted to his alleged crimes with scorn, the typical Bay Area resident was simply relieved to hear that one of the architects of "In the Navy" is still alive. While the outsider wouldn't hesitate to throw the book at the musician, the Bay Area resident was more likely to embrace the pseudo cop.
Who among us didn't hear of Willis' troubles and consider: Maybe I can get him to sing at my birthday party?
This is a community that chastises the politically incorrect, but is unfailingly forgiving of moral weakness -- which explains why Gavin Newsom and Kimberly Guilfoyle's garish Getty-fabulous wedding attracted way more controversy than their spectacularly failed marriage.
And it's a community that's willing to look the other way -- which explains how the mayor's phone number turned up in Paris Hilton's BlackBerry under "Newson, San fran gavin," and there was little uprising within the city limits. Compared with the kind of relationship roulette that Willie Brown pulled during his two terms, a number in Hilton's virtual black book is barely worth the trouble of mocking.
When you live in the Bay Area, and get used to our mores, crime and punishment in other places just doesn't seem right. Tommy Chong served nine months in prison for selling bongs? I bought my first bong as a 16-year-old in the mid-1980s at an establishment on Haight Street, and the storefront is still there. Small businesses come and go in the city, except for the bong shops that sell to minors, which apparently are recession proof.
When hearing about celebrities getting busted for marijuana-related offenses -- Art Garfunkel, Macaulay Culkin and that creepy kid from "Desperate Housewives" have all been charged with possession in the past year -- it's hard not to wonder: Why didn't they come to the unofficial asylum of Market Street in San Francisco, the largest open-air hash club west of Amsterdam?
According to a self-funded study I recently conducted, here are the seven most common smells on Market between Fourth and Eighth streets.
1. Urine
2. Human feces
3. Marijuana smoke
4. Drakkar Noir (or a related knockoff)
5. Cigarette smoke
6. Ammonia
7. Dog feces/taxicab exhaust (tie)
Which brings us to Moss, who became a national disgrace last year for pretending to pull his pants down and moon the Green Bay Packers crowd -- an act that wouldn't get you noticed at a City Council meeting in Berkeley.
Excerpts from Gumbel's interview with Moss, scheduled to air on "Real Sports" Tuesday night, were released six days ago. While the player's agent says he was misquoted (that statement deserves more scorn than the allegations of stoner behavior), Moss apparently admitted to smoking marijuana "every once in a while." As of earlier this week, talking heads across the nation were still elevating blood pressure over the issue.
"You'd have to be an idiot to draw attention to yourself if you're getting high," Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti wailed on the Monday afternoon edition of ESPN's "Pardon the Interruption."
But while much of the Midwest raged, Bay Area residents quickly put it in perspective. Moss smokes pot once in a while? You mean the same Moss who plays football for a city that has a drug district nicknamed Oaksterdam?
Up until last year, when the city passed legislation that shut down several of the clubs, there were more places in Oakland to buy marijuana than a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. In nearby San Francisco, there are currently more pot clubs (at least 40) in the city limits than the combined total of McDonald's, Burger King and stand-alone Taco Bell franchises (36).
And as one astute caller pointed out on Friday's "KNBR Morning Show," regarding Moss: The dude drives a giant purple truck. Who in their right mind didn't think he smoked a little weed?
If you're looking to commit a social faux pas with minimal backlash, come to the Bay Area
- Peter Hartlaub
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Since the controversy surfaced almost a week ago, talk of the Randy Moss marijuana saga has passed through more lips than a spliff at a Cypress Hill concert -- generating nationwide outrage on ESPN and talk radio programs that continues today.
But in the liberal Bay Area, where there are more pot clubs than Krispy Kreme franchises, the Oakland Raider's casual weed smoking admission on HBO's "Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel" merited about 12 seconds of discussion. It was a local story, but still only worth a one-day news cycle, even as the rest of the nation couldn't stop seething.
If you're planning to commit a petty crime, drug-related spectacle or even a social faux pas, is there any better place to live than the Bay Area? Sure, we like a good witch hunt, but assuming you don't own a pit bull, join the Republican Party or dunk someone else's severed finger in a bowl of fast food chili, you can pretty much do or say whatever you want with minimum reprisal from your neighbors.
Take the example of former Village People lead singer Victor Edward Willis, who was arrested on drug and gun charges last month in Daly City. While most people east of Mount Diablo reacted to his alleged crimes with scorn, the typical Bay Area resident was simply relieved to hear that one of the architects of "In the Navy" is still alive. While the outsider wouldn't hesitate to throw the book at the musician, the Bay Area resident was more likely to embrace the pseudo cop.
Who among us didn't hear of Willis' troubles and consider: Maybe I can get him to sing at my birthday party?
This is a community that chastises the politically incorrect, but is unfailingly forgiving of moral weakness -- which explains why Gavin Newsom and Kimberly Guilfoyle's garish Getty-fabulous wedding attracted way more controversy than their spectacularly failed marriage.
And it's a community that's willing to look the other way -- which explains how the mayor's phone number turned up in Paris Hilton's BlackBerry under "Newson, San fran gavin," and there was little uprising within the city limits. Compared with the kind of relationship roulette that Willie Brown pulled during his two terms, a number in Hilton's virtual black book is barely worth the trouble of mocking.
When you live in the Bay Area, and get used to our mores, crime and punishment in other places just doesn't seem right. Tommy Chong served nine months in prison for selling bongs? I bought my first bong as a 16-year-old in the mid-1980s at an establishment on Haight Street, and the storefront is still there. Small businesses come and go in the city, except for the bong shops that sell to minors, which apparently are recession proof.
When hearing about celebrities getting busted for marijuana-related offenses -- Art Garfunkel, Macaulay Culkin and that creepy kid from "Desperate Housewives" have all been charged with possession in the past year -- it's hard not to wonder: Why didn't they come to the unofficial asylum of Market Street in San Francisco, the largest open-air hash club west of Amsterdam?
According to a self-funded study I recently conducted, here are the seven most common smells on Market between Fourth and Eighth streets.
1. Urine
2. Human feces
3. Marijuana smoke
4. Drakkar Noir (or a related knockoff)
5. Cigarette smoke
6. Ammonia
7. Dog feces/taxicab exhaust (tie)
Which brings us to Moss, who became a national disgrace last year for pretending to pull his pants down and moon the Green Bay Packers crowd -- an act that wouldn't get you noticed at a City Council meeting in Berkeley.
Excerpts from Gumbel's interview with Moss, scheduled to air on "Real Sports" Tuesday night, were released six days ago. While the player's agent says he was misquoted (that statement deserves more scorn than the allegations of stoner behavior), Moss apparently admitted to smoking marijuana "every once in a while." As of earlier this week, talking heads across the nation were still elevating blood pressure over the issue.
"You'd have to be an idiot to draw attention to yourself if you're getting high," Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti wailed on the Monday afternoon edition of ESPN's "Pardon the Interruption."
But while much of the Midwest raged, Bay Area residents quickly put it in perspective. Moss smokes pot once in a while? You mean the same Moss who plays football for a city that has a drug district nicknamed Oaksterdam?
Up until last year, when the city passed legislation that shut down several of the clubs, there were more places in Oakland to buy marijuana than a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. In nearby San Francisco, there are currently more pot clubs (at least 40) in the city limits than the combined total of McDonald's, Burger King and stand-alone Taco Bell franchises (36).
And as one astute caller pointed out on Friday's "KNBR Morning Show," regarding Moss: The dude drives a giant purple truck. Who in their right mind didn't think he smoked a little weed?
