My contribution to the disabled...

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May 21, 2002
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Sacramento, CA
#1
So I get back from the South side and visiting my newly born neice yesterday afternoon. I pulled a muscle in my back on Saturday moving so I wasn't at all pleased having to make the 30 minute drive back to Natomas in traffic. I'm in need of the liquid pain releiver we all know as beer.

FoodsCo. has the 30 pack of High Life on sale for $13.99 so I grab one of those along with a nice t-bone steak and some pork rinds. My back is killing me holding that 30 pack as I am next in line at the 15 item or less speedy checkout lane. You know those grocery dividers they have on the conveyor belt that separates your groceries from the person in front of you? Well, the whole damn conveyor belt was full of groceries, separated by the divider with one WWB size woman in front of me.

I don't know about all of you, but I am the guy who is always behind the woman whose "coupons aren't ringing up" or the advertised special is not "in the computer yet". I've become somewhat immune to the fact I know I will have to take 20 minutes out of my day to wait for that pack of gum and a diet coke I want to buy.

Anyways, I digress...

I look around and all the other lanes were full. This cow of a woman takes her 42 (I counted) items and split them into two purchases, both of which she wrote a check for pissing me off even more. Once this whole ordeal with Shamu is over with (by the way, I laughed out loud as she started to waddle away and dropped her purse spilling change everywhere), I pay for my piss beer, steak, and deep fried pig skin.

As I'm headed out of the grocery store pissed at the two purchase purchasing, check writing whale of a cunt I had to deal with, I complimented myself once again on the rock star parking I got right up front next to the handicap parking spots. As I near my truck, some soccer mom pushes her empty cart towards the curb in the handicap spot next to my truck, of which was opposite a cart return bin.

I say to the lady, "Excuse me, mamn. Disabled people who cannot walk should not have to deal with lazy asses who can. Kindly move your cart to the bin 10 feet away."

I got some bitching from her under her breath, but I drove away knowing I pissed off a soccer mom, laughed at a lane cheating dino-cunt and saved the disabled driver some walking distance all in the matter of 20 minutes.

Rack me.
 

BAMMER

Siccness Gray Hair
Apr 25, 2002
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Auburn Wa
www.dawgman.com
#3
beautiful DT.I went to Safeway for lunch last week,and this dude was half way back in his car seat.He was looking at his reciept,then crumpled it up half ass,and dropped it on the ground.I ran over there,picked it up before he could back out,un-crinkled it,said "dropped sump'n" and stuck it on his wet(raining)window.Dude just looked at me surprised,I think he was just startled to see somebody in his window.Lazy fuck!
 
Apr 25, 2002
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#4
LMFAO.....great shit.....I fuckin' hate people that don't put their motherfucking shopping carts in the return bin. They just leave it in an open parking space, which is usually the fucking spot I get happy about when I see it's open. Then all is ruined when I realize some lazy ass shit face left their cart in it......
 
May 12, 2002
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GoProGraphics.com
#9
LMAO great ass story. I love the detail and names for people, lol

I love returning the shopping carts cause i run real fast and smash em into each other. I try to break on every time. The more i lift, the more damage i can cause with a cart, lol.
 
#10
Years ago, I used to mess wit this dude in a wheelchair. He really used to piss me off, so I had to slap him around a lot. But him being in the wheelchair was easy access cuzz he would have stood 6'8". So in the wheelchair, he came almost up to my shoulder. So everytime I reached out to slap him, I never had to over-exert myself. =)
 
Apr 25, 2002
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#12
LOL, ya'll remember that Seinfeld where george buys that lady a used wheelchair. then when she is going down a hill the brakes go out and she cant stop. LMAO that episode cracks me up everytime i see it.