Damn Cats!

[Locahontas]

Does anyone know how to get rid of cats? I mean, besides the obvious (get a dog, shoot them, etc, etc). I've lived in my house for almost a year. The old people that used to live there had a bunch of cats. Now, there are always cats hanging around, even though the old people are long gone. There is a flower box on my porch (no flowers, cuzz I didn't water em, & they all died- hey but at least I feed my son!!!). Everyday, those damn cats come on my porch & shit in the flower box! It is starting to smell not so nice. And it is starting to piss me off!!! Sometimes, they say fuck it, & just shit directly on the porch. The flower box is really big & heavy, so I'm not gonna be able to get rid of it until all this stupid snow melts. But I want the cats gone now DAMN IT!!!

 

[Blight]

Take them to your neighbors porch and feed them there. Theyll still be close by but at least theyll start going next door and hanging out. Hopefully.

 

[Locahontas]

HA! That's a good idea. But see, if I feed them, I KNOW they'll shit. And they might see me feeding them as a friendly invitation to come shit on my porch or in my flowerbox again! Oh, go ahead and talk to that girl in front of you...don't be scurred!

 

[c0rn brEaD!]

I JUZT KICK THOZE LIL BA$TARDZ. THEY COME BACK I BRING OUT THE BB GUN

 

[Locahontas]

But I never actually SEE them shitting. So in reality, it could be the drunk old man a couple doors down that's taking a dump on my porch!

 

[Blight]

Lol, i have had the worst luck with women like that. Either the religion gets in the way eventually, or they have men back home, etc.... besides she looks pretty done up and i got a beer shirt (with a guy chugging beer on the back and crawling on the ground) and my stuff for the gym. Ill catch her later. lol.

AS FOR THE CATS... Well you can always call humane society. Or try and get someone who likes cats and say you got some. Before they come over, catch one of the cats and say its name is Fuzzy or something. Theykk think its yours so you can charge like 15 bucks. Just if they ask where your cat toys/liter box is, say you keep em downstairs and theyre not for sale.

 

[Locahontas]

HAHAHA!!! Ok, sounds good, BUT I'm allergic to cats, so I don't really wanna get close to them like that. I also have a problem with slugs in my yard. But I'll have to wait til it warms up to deal with that. I'll probably just have to get animal control to come set some traps.

 

[SPORADIC]

<Throws cat on chokahontas>

 

[Locahontas]

^^^Ok, I see how it is...

 

[dboss]

the easiest way to get rid of cats is one get rid of the flower pot in the front cause that attracts that cats because of the smell and then when you see a cat out there pour water at them with a spray bottle or just throw water and them and since cats hate water that will chase them away......

 

[Cranky]

Antifreeze......simple as that.... :devious:

 

[SPORADIC]

To make it simple:
A match
Some gasoline

You'll never ever see a ball of fire run like that again......

 

[dboss]

^^You is mean and that is considered animal cruitility.......

 

[SPORADIC]

^^^HAHAHA,I looooooooove cats though.I was just making a suggestions...Cats are very affectionate & emotional.I,myself have never done that.....

 

[dboss]

well you better start too..